sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
