We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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