I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize