"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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