I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
