we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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