a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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