is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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