I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
