My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
