I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
