man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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