Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
