She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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