I can text with my tongue
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
