I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
