They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
