I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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