he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
