Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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