it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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