thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
