just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
