How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize