Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
