is wine microwaveable?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize