i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Please don't give away my fajitas
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
