Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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