So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
