YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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