Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My vagina just clenched in fear
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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