so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
