dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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