before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
