Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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