I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
