If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
