well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
