I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
