I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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