school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
