Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
