Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize