I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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