And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
