Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize