God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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