dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
