This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
