You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
