I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
