Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
