I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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