stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
