Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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