Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize