I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
