Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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