How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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