4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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