No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize