My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
